Cabinet Capers: Erasing the Past

This entire process has been very entertaining for me. I live alone, as far as other humans go, and have learned that I can laugh out loud at myself without fear of wondering if I should be committed. Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. I’m frakkin’ nuts! So by that logic I am doing okay.

I laugh frequently at the gross things my house presents, and to be honest it’s almost daily.  Between Pete occasionally sharting in the bed (twice! really??!) and the remnants of German cockroach infestation, I have seen my share of poop; especially for being a non-parent.  I should rename this blog: Easty’s House of Poop, aka EHOP. Ha! #EHOP

When last we left our heroes, the cabinet doors were drying after a couple coats of primer and my head was pounding. 

Time to eradicate the past horrors from the kitchen and bring this baby into a new era of well-being! I donned the rubber gloves and a bucket of soapy water and got to scrubbing.

Before (eeeewww)

After (aaahhhh)

Why yes!That is a good, solid layer of roach poop/pieces. I gagged and laughed my way through it because if I can’t laugh at really disgusting stuff, life gets just a little too hard. Here are the two big guys all scrubbed down and degreased (the same process as the doors.)

After Brett got the new walls in, we did some reordering of the cabinets to make the kitchen a little more cohesive. There used to be a single unit over by the refrigerator that wedged it tightly against the wall and provided a ridiculously small surface area.  So we moved it over to the cabinet next to the stove to create more counter space and so the fridge could breathe. The orange arrows below show the move, but please forgive the terribleness of the rendering:

See that green arrow? The original plan was to have a double upper cabinet with glass inserts installed in the door panels. Then this happened:

So I was like, “Suck it, jigsaw! I’m going all-open shelving!”

And that’s the new plan. This is how I roll.

Once all the cabinets were in place it was time for a light sanding and primer.

Pete was super helpful and not in the way at all.

 

BTdubs, my dog looks dead but I swear he’s just really hot and tired. It was 101 degrees outside (it’s the duurty south ya’ll) and with all the indoor/outdoor movement, plus the power switching on and off to rewire some of the electrical, it was about 97 degrees in the kitchen.  Poor Pete! He works so hard.

Brett secured all of the cabinets to the wall and installed the counter-top and sink. I broke out the wood filler once again (woot!) to erase the past lines between the units so it looks like one solid piece of furniture. I plan to put “feet” at the base of the cabinets later on so that you really get a sense of furniture-ness and not these-are-standard-box-store-cabinets-ness. whew.

Oh! And Brett rigged the sink cabinet to make it seem like it was built for an apron sink! Which of course, it totally wasn’t. In fact, we had to go out and purchase a new sink unit (hello unexpected reno cost!) because the original cabinet fell apart when we removed it from the wall. Years of water damage corroded the particle board and it just collapsed in my hands. The good news is that Lowe’s had an unfinished version in-stock for $105 that blended well with the originals. Added bonus: I did not have to de-poop that one!

Before

After!

     

After sanding everything down, giving it another couple coats of primer, it was finally time to break out the real paint.



Ooooo low odor! No VOCs? Now we’re talkin’! I used Benjamin Moore’s Advance paint in Cloud Cover, satin finish; quite literally ripped this one off from the Petersik’s. I’ve spent enough viral time in their kitchen to know that this is a great color and finish. And they highly recommended it, which is more than enough for me! Sold!

Next comes the hardware phase plus censored expletives! Good, good times!

Hugs,
~Easty

Cabinet Capers: Prep Stage

Let's back-track a couple months!

While Brett The Handy-Man broke his tail on the walls, sink and countertops, I went quite easy on myself (for now) and focused on the cabinetry.

Rather than drop a cool $7 grand on custom cabinets (meeeps!), I decided to give my builder cabinets a refresh and save on my renovation costs.  I turned to my DIY gurus over at Young House Love for a little bit of advice, but wound up “borrowing” their entire shopping list and process.  Hey, if it works, why reinvent the wheel?  I am so not original!

Since Sherry and John Petersik were just winding their kitchen reno down as I was embarking on mine, I thought: how serendipitous!  I don’t know what I would do without this lovely duo and their DIY advice. They make me want to move to Richmond, VA just so I can be BFFs with them.  That didn't come off as creepers did it? Sorry. Back to the whole point of this post because I have clearly strayed:

First, I had to take all of the drawers out and the doors off, and strip everything of its hardware.

 

<<Sidebar: I did my best to keep the hardware that I would be reusing together. I numbered the six lower cabinets and labeled cups to keep the shtufff in.  It was a valiant effort that fell by the wayside in the end.>>

I started prepping the decorative panels by using sprayable Next Degreaser from Home Depot. It was really easy to use, low VOC (but still pretty potent) and non-flammable, because you know I left it on the gas stove top, like, a lot.

Shake it, spray it, let in soak a little and scrub it girl! The directions said to scrub with a rag, but based on the sheer amount of poop-ature I have found, I figured I should use heavy-duty scouring pads.  Then the rag for clean-up/wipe-down.

The plank on the top has been degreased and the one on the bottom has not.  See how much light the bottom one reflects? That’s because it’s slimy and gross and the top one is squeeeky clean!

Next came the really fun part: filling up the old hardware holes! I have a brand new obsession over wood filler.  It’s a seriously good time!

Again, based on what the Petersik’s suggested, I used Elmer’s Pro Wood Filler found at Home Depot.  Slap it on there…

 
…smoosh it in…

…scrape it off…

…let dry and repeat!  Each plank needed about two layers of gook to make it flush with the board.

Here’s everybody all solidified and ready for some sanding action:

I love my little Mouse by Black&Decker! She really gets the job done, even down to those tough corners.

Listen to me; I sound like I used to do blow with the ShamWow! guy. 

Next came another wipe-down with a damp cloth and a couple coats of primer. I used Benjamin Moore’s Stix primer, which covered really well but is really high in VOCs (or at least it felt like it, high being the operative word.) Lord knows I really don’t like feeling that way, so I would not recommend using it in a poorly ventilated room.

YHL recommended Zinsser Smart Prime, and after this experience I totally went out and bought some of that instead. It's hard to find in Tuscaloosa, but not impossible! Stix certainly got the job done but not without some provisions:

An entire family-size bag of mini powdered doughnuts would have also been appropriate, but I am trying to maintain my girlish figure, thank you.

More cabinetry to come, friends! Remain on the edge of you seats!

~Easty-Lou

Long time, no see?

I know, I know. I’ve been M.I.A. for, like, a month.

Kitchen renovation and summertime depression is getting the better of me.  That’s right, I get the hardcore blues in the summer. I’m a weirdo! Seasonal Affective Disorder - SAD :( – is thought to be caused by a tiny gland in the brain that responds positively to UV rays. For some, when it doesn’t get enough of its fix, it freaks out with the DTs and makes it impossible to get out of bed. This certainly seems to be true for me: I experience less sunshine in the summer.

Seriously.

It’s hot out there and I’m not doing it.  I watched a mentor loose the battle war with malignant melanoma.  I AM NOT DOING IT. 

When I get made fun of for my Caspar-like glow, I think of all the Botox I am not going to need. If this were 17th Century France, I would be considered part of the noble elite. So that’s where I am going to live in my head while I wallow and wade through my own personal cyclothymia.

My doctor just put me on Prozac.  #winning! and loving it

So, here’s a little progress report on the kitchen, but first, let’s do The Before:

 


Le design:

And…Progress:

I have about a bazillion entries that I’ve started writing that actually show the steps I’ve taken on this bad boy. But for now, this is what I’ve got. Take it or leave it sugar-pie! I’ll be back with a vigor sooner or later. 

The Greatest Gift

Nope, I’m not talking birthday presents in the literal sense. The greatest gift is something that reaches far beyond the material; the greatest gift is getting to be here, to live and love.

I am a sober person today thanks to the support of my amazing family, my friends who believed I could get clean, and through the love of the God of my understanding.  There was a time all too recently, that I did not appreciate the precious gift I have been given.  All of the misery and selfishness was necessary to reach a point of desperation; a desperation to change no matter what. 

I am grateful to be alive, to have people in my life who are loving and supportive, to have a bond with a Power greater than myself who wants the best for me, and to have the ability to grow.

Though I can see the changes materially right now, spiritually,  I think I am getting better.  And that is the goal after all; to be better.

So on this day, the day I was born, I want to thank my parents for letting that happen and always being there through the thickness and the thin.  Thank you, little brother, for being an inspiration. Your voice has always brought me joy.  Thank you, friends, for being awesome and understanding people.  You are the mirrors that help me see more clearly.  Thank you, God, for letting me stay here to learn more and be a better person.

Now, I bet you thought this was going to be a post about dining room chairs and a new kitchen, didntcha?  :)  

Love, Easty

The Demolition Report: Part 3 of 3 Finale

Oh, it is so ON right now!

My kitchen is beyond crazy:

Usually I like to clean up after each wall comes down, but today I tackled the fourth and final wall: the outer wall, now known as Hell Wall.  The handyman and I just found another active nest, and we all know there was screaming.  Mostly from him.  Just kidding :) Ya’ll know it was me!

But the insulation and moisture barrier are now up, and this is officially a roach-free zone.

Here is my new best friend, R2 (as in D2), who cleans up ze poops and ze crevices:

And here is the inaugural piece of beaded board:

We are officially out of the demo phase and into construction!  I’m peeing I’m so excited :)

Field of Little Nightmares

If I were married right now I would be headed for divorce. The kitchen is in a state of chaos that only I could handle and fortunately does not need to be made conducive to another person.  It works for me, for a little while longer anyway.  If I build it, he will show up…(no, I am not about to suggestively quote The Field of Dreams.)

It just barely works, but hey, there's coffee!

The handyguy is coming over first thing on Friday to install the insulation, bead board panels, counter tops, sink and faucet, and to teach me about electrical wiring. I am officially his apprentice for the day! My parents could not have thought of a better birthday present for me :)

I’ve been working on the railroad cabinets, cleaning the roach poops and degreasing (more later): seriously nasty stuff that has me questioning God’s reasoning for building the cockroach in the first place. What purpose do they serve? Really? The way I see it, it’s either us or them and maybe that’s the point. Maybe God is just trying to keep us on our toes. “See guys? If you build the nuclear warheads you will kill everything but these f***ers and the Twinkies they snack upon.  Is that how you want it? Roaches and Twinkies and Cher??” No Sir/Ma’am. No I do not.  And God didn’t really cuss. That’s my character defect interjected into how I think God sounds. Please take no offense as I am the first to admit that I am perfectly imperfect in every way.

I am waiting to remove this one panel that is directly to the left of my bedroom door. Behind it lie such horrors that I would like to hold off on opening Pandora’s box until the very last minute.  There is a very large amount of American cockroach poop back there and a too recently-active nest.  That story goes a little something like this:

The house came with a termite bond because back in 1995 the owners had to gut the back porch due to an infestation, and built the master bedroom suite in it’s place.  The termite bond has been renewed every year since as a way of insuring that if it ever happens again, it will be a far less expensive endeavor.  Well, my renewal came up and the house needed to be inspected.  The guy shows up, does the crawl space shimmy and then starts admiring my demo work in the kitchen. I pipe up about this one panel that I am afraid of, he pulls it back and reveals three honkin’ buggers just chilling out as if they owned the place.  Spray, spray here; spray, spray there…then all over. 

They come pouring out.

It’s at this point that I am screaming and in tears, and Petey is all up in the mayhem and foolishness.  The guy just stands there chuckling, “Boy, I’m sure glad I was here for this!”

Yeah, me too.  God looks out for me and does for me what I cannot (and should not) do for myself.  Even when it comes to killing other creations, or whatever.  I just lost about three years off of my life I think.

The Demolition Report: Sweat & Mascara

Yes, I have sweat and mascara in my eyes. It hurts.  And all of the sweaty stuff is making me break out like crazy.

Don't look at me! I'm hideous!

It stings.

But my kitchen demolition is very underway!  Hooray!  I am discovering all sorts of buried treasure, like this old window:

Neat. It would look directly into my shower! Double neat!

 
And a whole bunch of ancient cat food over which the previous contractor installed the cabinets.  Laziness, people. Laziness.

Without further ado, here’s a slew of photo documentation from the last four days:

Not 100% sure this isn't asbestos *laughs nervously*

  

OMFG Do not lick that! There should be no eating right now!

 

And then Petey got sent to our room; too much curiosity, too underfoot.

 

I also found out where the cockroaches had been breeding (behind the fridge):

Dry heave city

And where they had been pooping (on the other side of the room, behind the oven.) I will spare you that picture.  Needless to say, I donned my protector mask for both tasks.  I truly feel that good Feng Shui starts within the walls; just knowing that stuff is in there?? It’s keeping me up at night.  I’ve washed my hands about sixty times today alone, and showered twice.  But I can never unknow the things I have seen…this will be my Vietnam.

But seriously, I’m easily traumatized.  It’s a character defect that I am working on.  Thank goodness I have never experienced the stuff that people actually get PTSD over (like Nam).  No, no. I am just a girl, tearing apart her walls, cleaning up an old cockroach infestation before sealing it all back up again.  Ahhhhh the simple life!